sail your sea.

In 2½ hours commencement will begin, and I will be a college graduate. Wow. I'm nervous, I'm excited ... I'm everything rolled into one right now.

I just want to wake up one day and just have it go perfectly. I would head to class, find the perfect parking spot, not fight with my boyfriend, no rain, no wind. It just can't seem to be like that. Maybe my expectations are too high.

Someone bring me spring please. Yes, it is technically spring. It is yucky outside and windy. Why must it always be windy here? I want a day where when I get to class my hair doesn't look completely fucked! But does it really matter because my grades suck this semester anyway.

There are a few things about James that annoy me:
1. His inability to handle his money correctly.
2. He calls me when it is convenient for him and not me. He may not be asleep @ 4:30, but I am and I have to get up in a few hours.
3. He feels that it is necessary to take showers all the time (which isn't that bad of a habit considering he always smells good). But it does get annoying when it is 2am, and I'm tired, and he's not exactly quiet. Plus, his showers can last up to an hour leaving no hot water.

I have nothing left to say.

Dear Tina,

I am still alive.

Sincerely,
Keri


So life has been pretty uneventful. I go to school during the week (speaking of 100 pages to read by Tuesday for a quiz ... oops) and Cedar Rapids during the week. That's about it. I didn't really see too much of James this weekend because he was out with his brother, and I was getting my nails done. For once the weather was amazing this weekend. The reason I'm back in Cedar Falls instead of CR is because we are supposed to get a shitload of sleet/freezing rain tomorrow morning & snow in the afternoon & I don't want to get stuck in CR again because I can't miss anymore class.

Right now is the L&O: SVU marathon on USA, so I'm back to watching that.

Dear James -

Right now, all I want to do is end things on a good note, and maybe possibly get to the point where I can trust you as a friend. You are making it very hard for me to do so when you say "don't call me until Wednesday" then you call me today, and ask if I did something.

Sometimes you just need someone, anyone to tell that everything will be okay.

Sometimes you have to put away your fears, and just jump in.

Sometimes it is okay to just let go.

Sometimes it is okay to be nervous.

Sometimes it is okay to just be ... okay.



Damien Rice is just so beautiful. I want to cry everytime I hear this song...

Why can't we be slightly politically incorrect in this country? It would make it easier for people like me so I don't get ridiculed on how I put things.

I have this urge to start an icon community, but I don't want to do it by myself haha.

Okay, Renae & I are going to the movies tomorrow, but we can't decide which one to go to. It's either:

Primeval

Happily N'ever After

Stomp the Yard

Tell me which one you liked best.

You know what ... if you can't get over the fact that there is a patch over my eye then you seriously need to grow up. People can stare all they want. It's going to be there for 3 more weeks. I'm glad I give you something entertaining to talk about. I'm glad it's funny. I'm glad that you stare at me as I go down the hall. You are going to stare today too. Get the fuck over it.

I love my friends and family so much. Seeing Alyssa tonight was so awesome, I love her to death and she cares about me so much. I also saw Renae too for like an hour. I love you guys so much. That includes all of you on here so much!

I'm so excited for Thanksgiving! I get to see my family that I haven't seen in a coon's age (yes, we say that here)! Plus, unlike all of you, I have not been able to afford one, but my uncle (from my dad's side) is getting me a 60GB one. All of you guys are lucky to have parents that can afford them or can afford them yourselves. I don't have that same luxury. But I get to see my stepfamily (including Shane & Erika), plus my mom's family this Thanksgiving. My aunt wants to get me some movies to watch while I'm recovering from my surgery, so I sent her a list of cheaper ones. I love my family so much.

This may sound strange, but I never knew that I had so many friends/family that care about me just because there were some people that I surrounded myself with that didn't really care enough about me or at all.

I'm off to read my Lance Armstrong book and watch the rest of VH1's 80's Hits things.

He scares me to death.
Literally.

1. The new FACEBOOK bothers me. Hello, stalkerish?!

2. My mom is pissed at me & it works both ways. She has kind of the right to. I was pissed & hung up on her.

3. Cody actually admitted that he will be there for me, and ... he cares about me. I believe him. This is what he said: hey..i know sometimes i may seem like i dont care about you, or dont have time, but i do care. i am here. if you need someone to talk to i will be there for you whenever i can... I guess, I really can't ask for me from him because that would be pushing it.

4. I have 2 weeks worth of laundry to do today plus 5 days of Algebra homework, 2 quizzes to do, & a shitload of Music Appreciation homework. My procrastination has finally caught up with me.

1. Why the hell does my myspace have to be under maintenance?
2. Never stockpile your laundry. I swear that my basket almost collapsed on me.
3. When you go to Target, don't by a shitload of drinks and nothing to eat. I guess I am on the liquid only diet. Not such a bad thing I guess, could lose some weight with my stupidity.
4. Don't fall asleep in contacts.
5. I need to move into my new apartment like now.

I told them all the ones I love
I'm leaving and I may not return
see lately I've been overcome
a feeling I fear has just begun
the pain i feel deep inside
that haunts us all that we will die
never really knowing how it feels
to be alive.

Sea of Doubt - Azure Ray

Talking to Tina for over 4 hours has made my day.

Right now I am avoiding typing my rough draft for my conference tomorrow. It has to be around 5 pages, and I only have my intro done. My topic is "Prayer in School". I chose it because it was a broad enough topic. I was going to do "God in the Pledge of Alligiance" but I wouldn't get that long of a paper. Either way, I am struggling.

So everything hit the fan yesterday with my roommates. I was an idiot and walked home for a bit during my 2 hour break with a friend and left my coat there (w/ my keys in it). I didn't lock the door because one of them was home. So when I get back I asked Rhiannon if she could just take that 1/4 of a mile drive to my car. She said no, and I blew up (well deserved I think." The jist of my yelling included the a lot of the variations of: whore, user, various swear words. Needless to say I now have a package of my own toilet paper, paper towels, napkins, and silverware. Otherwise everything else is mine except for the toaster and the pots. They aren't allowed to use anything of mine.

I am now stuck in my room because they are out there. Oh well, I need to type a paper.

& I need a job.

I am writing a paper of one of my classes and I'm having trouble so I'm enlisting you guys for some help. Just a general statement please. I'm drawing a blank.


WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE PURPOSE AND MEANING OF YOUR LIFE?

I love it when it's raining outside and I have no car to walk home to my apartment. My shoes and pants are muddy. That'll be fun to wash.

I'm on a music downloading spree.

Name Your Top 5 favorite songs:
( My All Time 5 Favorite Songs )
Now you name yours

Well I haven't had a real update in a almost 3 weeks. So I guess it's due. So I'll do a brief timeline because I'm tired & I have to get up at 5:40am for my 8am class.

Schedule: Comp. 1 - 8-8:30, Judaism, Christianity, & Islam - 10-10:50, Gen. Psych. - 11-11:50, Film Analysis - 1-1:50 (but I don't have it tomorrow.

Tuesday 8/16:
-Moved in.
-Renae went back to help Austin pack up because he moved the next day.

Wednesday/Thursday:
-Renae comes back & cries because she misses Austin. Even though she would see him in like 2/3 days.
-Went out with Rubner, Whitney, & Rhiannon to a friends of Rubner's house (does that make sense?). Their names were Britt (18) & Brad (20). I had 11 shots (I think) of Smirnoff Raspberry. I'm surprised I didn't vomit. Anyways it was some quarter game. Then we went out to their pool. I didn't want to swim. Though Britt tugged me off the bench into the pool with my clothes on. So I had to wear their shorts & shirts. Conviently they chose a white shirt for me to wear. Anyways before I was rudely thrown in the pool I was talking to Brad for about 15 minutes. Then we decided to go in and play strip poker. Brad had to walk behind me with his hand on my back so I didn't fall. I suck at that game too. Then Whitney passed out on their floor for awhile. I went down to the basement w/ Brad and hooked up. Came back up to screaming because Whitney was puking all over their floor. I'm surprised b/c she drank less than me. So we spent another hour & ½ their until she was sobered up enough to drag her to the car.

Thursday:
-Wake up to Whitney in our apartment.
-Killer nausea
-Had to get Whitney back to Brad's so she could get her coat & cell. Brad answered the door in only boxers.

Friday:
-Saw 40 Year Old Virgin

Saturday:
-Almost went to B&B's for a pool party but didn't go. Why? Because Brad wanted us to come later so we would feel more comfortable. Translation: I'll be embarrassed in front of my other friends. So no more Brad.

Wednesday:
-Skip a couple of days to when actual classes start.
-Ran into a couple of people that I knew from school. One from my class, another from a class ahead of me.


Well I better go now because I'm tired (yes I know it's only 8:30). I'll be on myspace until 9 probably. Add me if you haven't.

& IF YOU HAVE ALREADY GUESSED IT, CRUMPETS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS ENTRY @ ALL.